If a loved one has to use a Hospice, there will be many things you won’t be certain of, here are 10 Things to know about hospice care.
What is a hospice?
A hospice is similar to a hospital in that it offers care to critically ill people but a hospice is able to offer much more than most hospitals.
They offer
- Medical care
- Physical Therapy
- Complimentary Therapy
- Spiritual support
- Counselling
- Bereavement support
We all hope that we will never need to come in to contact with a Hospice in any form. But unfortunately it is beyond our control.
Why is Hospice care so important to me?
If you’re a regular reader of my blog, you’ll know that my Mum passed away in a hospice last August. This is why Hospice has become so hugely important to me.
This week marks Hospice care week and it is something I feel is extremely important and I wanted to use my own experiences to maybe help someone else.
There are many misconceptions around hospice’s and I have seen a huge amount of negativity towards the idea of hospice care for loved ones.
10 Facts about Hospices
1. Hospice does not always equal end of life
When it was first mentioned about Mum going in to a hospice, my automatic reaction was to panic. Surely we were giving up and just awaiting the inevitable?
I was reassured by Myton Hospice that this was not always the case, it can provide respite care and the ultimate goal is rehabilitation. The hope for Mum was a short stint of rehabilitation and a chance to get her medication right for her.
We could not predict that she would become so ill so quickly and I am grateful that she was in the hospice when this happened.
2. The hospice will become home to you
Almost as soon as your loved one arrives, it will become a home to you all. It is somewhere that you want to be, warm and welcoming and a home away from home.
Within days, you know where everything is, how everything works and spending time there becomes an integral part of each day.
Going home at the end of each day becomes a tiny bit harder with every passing day because your time there feels so normal.
3. The Hospice becomes family
I can’t tell you exactly when it happened, but it was fairly soon after Mum arrived that you began to see the hospice and the staff as an extension of your family.
The staff become so familiar so quickly that it feels as though you’ve always known them.
4. The hospice is your safe place
The comfort you feel in this bubble is like no other. I found myself opening up to people I had never met before and crying on their shoulders. And it was simply because I was made to feel at ease instantly. These people were there to support in any way they possibly could.
They never crowded or interfered, they just quietly went about with their work but were available without hesitation.
There was not a thing I held back while in that hospice. If I felt it, I said it. If I had a question I asked it.
I only felt unsafe when I was not there during that time.
5. A hospice can make almost anything become a reality
Want to have a visit from your pet, Cat, dog or horse, they’ll make it happen.
Want to meet a Footballing legend they’ll take to the internet in a bid to get it done.
And if like me, you want to marry your not yet divorced Fiance in front of your Mum in her last days, well yes they definitely made that happen.
OK so it was a wedding but it was a wedding style blessing but it was everything we could hope for and more. And the whole thing was pulled off in just a few days. And I know that had we have been in a position to go the whole hog, they’d of made it happen.
6. It becomes a key place to you
When your loved one is in a hospice, this is their new home, no matter how long they are there for. In a lot of cases it is where their final moments take place. And I don’t just mean their last breathe.
I mean all of those moments that come before that time. I have some wonderful memories of my time with Mum there. Yes some of those memories are quite traumatic but they are final memories, each one has a special place in my heart.
Since Mum passed away if I hear the word Myton I feel as if I own a little piece of it.
It is now such a part of our history, our story that there is a little part of me and a part of Mum that will forever be Myton.
I am probably a little selfish in that I feel like it belongs to me in some odd way. I don’t like to think of other people using it because to me it is my Mum now. But in the same respect if someone told me their loved one was due to go and they didn’t want them to, I’d not hesitate in urging them to go and sing their praises.
7. They will be more honest than you sometimes want
On various occasions during Mum’s stay we were sat down by Doctors and Nurses and told just how bad things were, They never hid from us once they knew nothing could be done.
It is hard to hear, especially when they tell you it’ll be a matter of days but I honestly look back now and feel grateful that they didn’t keep this from us. I am extremely grateful that they misjudged it and she had longer than they thought both times. But we needed that realism.
I can see how some may not appreciate this honest approach but it kept me grounded and aware of how precious every moment was.
8.They don’t stop caring
Just because your loved one is no longer in need of a hospice, if that means they are well enough to go home or they’ve sadly passed away, the Hospice and it’s staff do not vanish. The door is not shut once you leave, it remains open and loving and nurturing.
They offer a range of activities for the bereaved, counselling, group events, bereavement groups for children, the list goes on.
We have turned up to Myton and never felt anything other than welcomed by everyone we meet.
They also put on memorial events for families which is an opportunity to celebrate your loved ones life with people who are living this same journey alongside you.
9. Volunteers are at the absolute heart of it
Now of course the medical staff are hugely important in the running of any hospice and it would not work without them, the patients really do need the best medical care available and these highly skilled staff provide it every single day.
What may not be so obvious is all the volunteers that make a hospice run smoothly while also saving the charity a whole heap of money and giving so much more to the community. It takes 40,000 staff, and more than 125,000 volunteers to provide the care they need.
I cannot tell you how kind and wonderful these people are. They welcome visitors, they answer calls, take in donations, work in the café, run the shops, and marshal events, they serve food to the patients, provide counselling, pastoral care, a smile, some reassurance and a listening ear. And that just scratches the surface.
Each person in the hospice environment goes above and beyond for their patients and the families. They really are worth their weight in gold.
10. Without crucial fundraising, A hospice can’t function
For many years now I have taken part in fundraising for Myton Hospice in Coventry. I have walked many many miles, usually in some kind of tutu and glow in the dark costumes and I have loved it.
Since Mum went in to the Hospice, it became so clear to me that this fundraising is what keeps these Hospices open. I am so glad that I had taken part in these events and gone some small way to help them.
But so much more help is needed for their doors to stay open. For example Myton Hospice have to raise £9.2 million each year to continue to offer the support that they do.
Yes they get funding from the NHS but this only goes a tiny way towards the upkeep and running of such a huge organisation which runs three sites plus working in patients home.
Across the UK it takes £1.4 billion a year to provide end of life care, two-thirds of which is covered by donations, legacies, lotteries and fundraising from the public. You can see how valuable the support we can offer is.
I’ve written a post about the great ways you can fundraise for your local hospice.
How important Hospice care is
Now you can see just how important Hospice care is to many many people. So few of us remain untouched by Cancer and critical illness now that we can never know when we will need this care for ourselves or our families.
These facts are just the tip of the iceberg really, there is so much more to them. I am sure many people will have differing views on end of life and hospice rehabilitation based on personal experience, but for me, these sum it up.
I honestly cannot thank Myton Hospice enough, they made the last month of Mum’s life as comfortable as it could be and offered us support as a family that we could not have done without.
Have you had any experience of Hospice care? How did you find your experience?
Thank you for being a positive and inspiring person. I’ve nominated you for the Sunshine Bloggers Award.
https://momlifewithp.com/sunshine-blogger-award/
I’ve never had the experience of a hospice but I have only ever heard good things about them. This sounds like a wonderful place. My dad died suddenly last week, and he was in and out of hospital quite a lot with heart problems in the last couple of years. Hospitals are busy unhomely places to visit a loved one. Unsettling!
Hospices need people like you too. Be proud. Lovely post. Your mum seemed like a beautiful person.
Thank you so much for your kind words Gloria at such a difficult time for you.
I am so sorry for your loss. Sending you love at this time, of you need a shoulder, I’m here x x
This is such a beautifully written post Claire, raising awareness about all of the right things ♥ Hospice’s provide such an important part of health care x
Thank you Ellie, they are wonderful places full of really special people x
I’m so sorry about your loss – this is such a heart-warming post, especially for anyone who currently has a loved on in a hospice. They can offer a great deal of comfort during a very hard time. x
They really are very special x
Wow! What an amazing post! It’s really taught me to many things about hospice care and all that they offer!
Thank you for reading Jon x
Very interesting article, I never knew this side of Hospice – I do have a friend whose parent just was admitted… Its good to learn about these things though.
– Kristen
http://www.kristenbucy.com
I hope your friend is ok during these difficult times x
Wonderful post – so important for people to know how great hospice care can be. Will share!
Thank you so much x x
I honestly didn’t know much about hospice care before so thank you for this post and educating me a bit.
Thank you for reading Lyndsey x
Very informative post. I didn’t really know alot about hospice care. Both of my grandparents died in their homes, but this good to know. Thank you for sharing 🙂
Thank you Chloe 💕
I am honestly no idea about Hospice care, thank you for sharing your thoughts about hospice I learned so much!
Thank you Clare x
Oh I have never heard of Hospice before. It sounds much more like a home.
It is like a home away from home x x
Such a great post, really informative and full reassurance.
Thank you for sharing.
XOXO
Thank you for reading x
When relatives go into hospice you do think it’s something that you have to prepare for and you tend to think it’s the end. But they are super supportive and become family. However there so much more that I didn’t realise
They really do become family x
Ahh this is not something I have experienced but I know it is likely to be in the future. This is such a sensitively written post and it will be invaluable to those going through the same.
I have not yet experienced this yet but I know that it I’d likely I will in the future. This is such a detailed and sensitively written post and I know it will be invaluable to those going through the same. I am also so sorry for your loss. xx
Thank you so much, I hope you have many years without having to experience it x x
My only experience with hospice lasted overnight. Sadly my cousin died shortly after being transferred there. You’re right they don’t cut corners, they let you know exactly what to expect.
It’s hard to hear but you need a bit of realism when things are so difficult x
Hospice care was such a godsend to us when my grandmother passed away. It’s great to know there’s such knowledgeable and helpful services like this out there
They are phenomenal 💕
Amazing post Claire. You’ve really opened a lot of people’s eyes to hospices I think. When my Granddad was diagnosed with terminal cancer in April this year, hospice care was always on the cards but as he didn’t know he was terminally ill (it wouldn’t have helped, him knowing), he went back home because that’s where he desperately wanted to be. When it got REALLY bad near the end, the family was considering moving him to a hospice but sadly he got so bad so quickly that he did end up dying at home. However the district nurse care really let him down at the end, in his final 48 hours, which is really hard to think and talk about. Which is a shame because he would have had such better care in a hospice. We all know that now. Anyway, sorry for the ramble! But amazing post, as always.
Thank you so much. I am so sorry that you all had to experience that.
We didn’t have a great experience with district nurses either so I was glad that Macmillan nurses stepped in and arranged the hospice for us. And despite my reservations, I can’t imagine her last days anywhere else.
Dad was finding it so hard to keep up her care on his own which was hard to see when I couldn’t be there every day. The hospice was closer to me which meant that I could be there all the time, helped that it was the summer holidays as well.
It really did become our home for those weeks, I still feel that pull to be there even now x
Tbh, I’ve not heard MANY good things about the district nurses. I think my mum was even considering taking it to court or something, I’m not entirely sure. But everyone was pretty angry. I think the macmillain nurses were in contact with us because hospice was always an option (despite the fact we never actually got there) and they rang my mum quite a lot to check up on her and my granddad and see how things were. Even after he died, they gave her a call, which was nice x
I heard some bad things about nursing homes but I glad some of them still actually care about your loved ones.
I hope the bad ones are outweighed by the good ones x
This is such a lovely post and wonderful recognition to the hospice who cared for your mum, and supported your family. They sound like they went completely above and beyond the normal.
thanks for the article, a friend of mine volunteers for a hospice, I sometime think about joining her, your article is very inspiring.
I will volunteer for them when I am needed less by my children. They are so wonderful x
This is such a great article to help raise awareness I think a lot of people don’t know about hospice or respite care. I used to work in long term care years ago. I really enjoyed it. thanks for the great read.
This is a great post. My grandmother went into hospice last year and they treated her phenomenally before hse passed. I remember the nursing being very caring and calm and they explained everything throughout the whole process. I never knew much about it until then and I learned so much about the whole situation. Definitely an underrated and unappreciated profession.
My friend saw her last smile in a hospice in Cambridge. I was scared to go but so very glad I did. I will never fear a hospice now I know. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you so much Ellen, I am so sorry for your loss x
Grief seems selfish, if we believe they go to a better pain free place. But I grieved hard for my friend, my sons Godmother and for what we would never have between us any more.
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Claire – you already know that I have shared this, but I wanted to tell you that your post makes me so happy as I used to be a hospice sister before chronic illness got the better of me. I absolutely loved working there and felt so privileged to be able to play a small role in such an important time in the lives of patients and families. My own best friend was a patient at our hospice when she died from breast cancer aged 38 – that was not easy, but I experienced the love and support of my colleagues first hand. I have met some wonderful people over the years, have learnt so much from some inspirational men and women and will forever be blessed to have worked there x
You are one of lives angels. I have no doubt that you have helped so so many people in your role and helped heal their hearts.
It is the most awful time but I can’t imagine how much worse it would have been if the hospice had not been amazing x
I have worked at a hospice care centre and it is everything and more to what you’ve shared in this post.
So much more amazing than I could ever say!
My grandma was in a hospice and they were so kind and looked after her really well x
My husband was only in hospice for a day but those people were so kind and considerate and it takes a real special person to do that and my heart goes out to you. I’m now in counseling and you see what hospice has to offer you if you are grieving the loss of your loved one because most people don’t realize what it is like to lose someone that has meant a lot to you.
Thank you for reading Carole, I am so very sorry for your loss x x